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November 16th, 2009 | EarthBound, Images, Merchandise

A little while back Spitball Sparky posted some scans from a MOTHER 2 strategy guide on the Lumine Hall forums. They’re like the fake newspaper pages found in the EarthBound Player’s Guide, but the attempt to use English in the headlines has really funny results. Check ’em out!

I love how sometimes the words are inconsistent from page to page, like their spelling of Kraken 😛 And oh man I love that sub-headline about the fin soup!

I don’t know what guide these come from though. Anyone know? I’d love to know more details about all the Japanese guides.


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42 Comments to MOTHER 2 Strategy Guide Engrish

Yoshimad123 said on Nov. 16, 2009

Heh, I saw these when they were posted at Lumine Hall.
I wonder if they even got an English-speaking person to spell-check it.

Poe said on Nov. 16, 2009

“Miracle foreign children” is a phrase we should all start using more often.

Spitball Sparky said on Nov. 16, 2009

I scanned from the official Nintendo MOTHER2 guide. Aside from these pages, the rest of the book is surprisingly blank looking. America got a cooler official guide than Japan.

I was considering scanning the rest of it, too. Some clay models can be seen at different angles which is kinda cool, and there is some more Engrish. Off the top of my head, there is a Twoson bus schedule (“Gray Hand Bus”) that says something like “WE STOP SUDDENLY!! FOR ANIMALS”. The Fourside Dinosaur exhibit has the Jurassic Park Logo and says “ALL ALIVE!? DINOSAUR”.

I was surprised by this considering the MOTHER guide had a fold-out Podunk/Mother’s Day newspaper that was written in correct English.

santiagoff said on Nov. 16, 2009

Klark Ken’s fin becomes beautiful soup? LAWL

Portal-Kombat said on Nov. 16, 2009

Miracle Foreign Children beat Klerken

Q said on Nov. 16, 2009

The Moonside Press is a nice touch.

Darien said on Nov. 16, 2009

The Moonside Press was nice, yeah. I appreciated that.

I think my favourite was “Windy: swang palms,” though.

ShootheMoon said on Nov. 16, 2009

Brand-new seafood thrown up on beach?…

LightningLuigi said on Nov. 16, 2009

I really enjoyed the newspaper fold-out in the Mother Encyclopedia, it was very well done and very authentic looking. This guide couldn’t have possabily been made by the same people. Thankfully they didn’t translate the game, it probably would have been worse than Zero Wing.

Old West said on Nov. 16, 2009

“Who Open Scarabi Pylamid” is now going to be my forum sig

Dr. Meat said on Nov. 17, 2009

Love the Moonside Press, would subscribe to that IRL if the stories are half as amusing as the headlines.


Afen said on Nov. 17, 2009

My favorite headline is “Nintendo Upsets! Revenge of Mother 1!”

TBird said on Nov. 17, 2009

Scent of Missing Girl Sealed Yet?

Maybe “This Game Stinks” was an appropriate slogan.

Shyamalan said on Nov. 17, 2009

Kraken. Klerken. Klark Ken. Clark Kent.

SmaMan said on Nov. 17, 2009

Oh no… does that mean the Kraken is… Superman?! And now he’s a delicious new seafood delicacy “thrown up on the beach?!” Why hasn’t anyone at DC made an epic graphic novel about this yet?

Godaigamer said on Nov. 17, 2009

Wait, Paula’s last name is Jones?!

Mato said on Nov. 17, 2009

Pretty sure that’s not Itoi official, just the guide people having fun.

Bluedude3 said on Nov. 21, 2009

next time I make soup I shall call it beautiful soup 😛

ScottKO said on Nov. 23, 2009

ZONBI WORLD gave me a really good laugh

PKSTARMAN said on Nov. 24, 2009

Engrish? I thought we speak English! LOL!

Anonymous said on Jan. 6, 2010

I would love to read the Moonside Press.
It would be even wackier than this Engrish.
For example:
“Shark punk raid on Onett arcade”
would be:
“Shark sharp harp arpanet tenapra nineapra raid on Onett Twoette Threette Fourette.”

moonsidepress.com said on Jan. 13, 2010

86552.oN X991 Yadseut 9 Rebmetpes
Mani-Mani is always Mani-Mani of all Mani-Mani

On the MoonSide said on Feb. 21, 2010

Yadseut 9 Rebmetpes

Its my birthday……..

Eltrion said on Apr. 24, 2010

Anyone Notice that there are 5 people in the failed teleport under, “Dash and disappear Children”?

BLMNDEF said on Aug. 5, 2010

Falling of our SweetBogy Tent

BLMNDEF said on Aug. 5, 2010

I literally lol’d when I saw “Klerken”

BLMNDEF said on Aug. 11, 2010

The Falling Down of Our SweetBogy Tent.

Do you have a good sleep Really enough?

Hunter said on Aug. 23, 2010

“Brand new seafood thrown up on the beach” made me die laughing.

conn3r said on Nov. 29, 2010

i must say i liked ” EVEN CLEARKS LOSE WAY?! foursside grandstore, hugest departmentstore in the world”

Super Train Station H said on Apr. 12, 2011

“Klark Ken’s fin becomes beautiful soup”

was that a reference to Alice in Wonderland?

NatX2 said on Jul. 2, 2011

Do you have a good sleep? Really enough?

Um… I think…

Jacob said on Jul. 3, 2011

I liked WARNING: Overplaying damege your sleep seriously.

The Earthbounder said on Jul. 24, 2011

Who is that 5th person?

Is it pippi
or porky
or someone else!

BigDream said on Sep. 4, 2011

Can someone tell me what ENGRISH even is!??!?!?!

Zack said on Feb. 26, 2012

Did you notice from the 4th newspaper “Autographers rush on her daily”? It was something like that. LOL.

Anyways, these newspapers had me busting my guts out.

Nyx said on Feb. 26, 2012

The Colonel?
Alinivar in his human suit?

Mr. Saturn #1 said on Feb. 26, 2012

“Pylamid wake up After 300 Years Sleep — Hawks Eye Was Stolen” XD

KingOfSwords said on Jun. 7, 2012

“Nintendo Upsets!! Revenge of Mother 1”

What’s that even supposed to mean?

Anonymous said on Jul. 4, 2012

Ermahgerd! The Klerken!

Bionicfemme said on Mar. 29, 2013

Which guide has these headlines?

Mato said on Mar. 29, 2013

The official Mother 2 guide, I think.


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